Everyone's Got a Story
It seems that almost everyone you meet (after moving to a new place) has a moving story. Many of these fall into the "General Moving Story" category, like the one related to me by our Morgantown friend Chris G. (which is a blog unto itself). Most, however, have been related to moving young children and the aftereffects of that. I'm sure it's because these people can relate to what our boys are going through, with new schools, new sports, new friends, etc. While of course I enjoy hearing their experiences, it is unfortunate that most of these stories are full of discomfort, anxiety, and sometimes downright woe. I keep waiting to hear a story with the ending of "it was hard for a time, but then it turned out to be the best thing my parents did for me", but these are not the details I usually hear. Or perhaps it's just that these people are just forgetting to wrap their stories up with a nice bow of the happy results that had to have happened sometime.
On the receiving end, the only thing a polite person can do during these frequent tellings is nod politely and respond accordingly: "Oh, so you hated school for a whole year? Hmm, you refused to get on the school bus when it came?" And, "Wow, it must have been horrible to cry every day for six months", etc.
Yesterday was the final blow in "bad moving stories" for me, and this time it didn't even come from someone in person. I had decided to download a few podcasts to listen to while I was at the gym this week, and as a result downloaded this week's "It's An American Life" podcast from NPR. Once at the gym, I was wary when I heard the announcer preface this week's stories by saying that they were truly "worst case scenarios for any parent". However, I just started shaking my head with the inevitability of it all (which can be very disorienting on a stair climber) when the first story was about a family who spiraled out of control after a move across the country. Now, granted, there was a messy divorce in this family situation, and the girls were removed from all contact with their beloved father, but after they moved the two older girls got involved in the punk rock scene, later ran away to different states, and eventually ended up with heroin addictions - all before the age of 14.
Despite the fact that this story was horrifying enough to completely take my mind off of the work I was putting my legs through, it was not a very encouraging or relaxing story for me to hear at this time in my life. The second story on the podcast was even worse, although it was not about moving - just about a young boy who came from a good family who ended up doing something so random and destructive to himself that it indeed fits well in the "worst case scenario" department. Again, I shook my head and wanted to say (to the other earphoned and therefore tuned-out exercisers around me), "Would it be so hard for someone give me a happy story around here?"
But here's the good news. Those stories are just stories of other people and their lives, and the fact is that our story is much, much different. In fact, I feel like we've turned the corner in some things this week concerning the boys and their transitioning. (Well, at least I've turned a corner: I have realized lately that I am not always walking the exact same street the boys are concerning how they feel about school and such. In fact, I am learning in some ways the worries and concerns actually bother me more than it bothers them.)
But I digress. I was delighted that Jericho had a friend over from school last weekend, and he even went to Sunday night Youth Group with Jericho. His name is Jacob, and he seems like a great kid, goes to one of the local churches, and Jericho has mentioned him several times this week in passing. (Such as "Today I was hanging out with Jacob and break, and....") Plus, last night I went with Jericho to his school's Open House and within the first five minutes of being on the campus I heard several "Hey, Jericho!"s from random kids as we walked. I of course loved hearing that.
As far as Jacob goes, I'm not sure I've ever seen him so happy to go to school every day. He is just - happy. He did have a shaky time earlier this week when we signed him up for a recreational basketball team and he went for his first practice. He came home discouraged and stressed out that he didn't know the drills, and had to do some things that he had never done before, and worried that it wouldn't be good for him at all. However, last night we went again and seemed to have a great time - more relaxed. So I'm hopeful that it will be a good thing for them.
Plus, they both seem very happy and comfortable at church, and that has been wonderful.
I suppose that one day the boys will tell their own moving stories, and I'm sure some of them will be full of uncertainty, anxiety, and perhaps a little woe, as well. Perhaps they won't say that moving to California will be the best thing that we ever did to/for them. But perhaps they will.
I think we'll just continue to take it one day at a time.
