The Wallpaper Museum

I think that I have mentioned the wallpaper in our house before. In fact, our new house came heavy laden with wallpaper. We actually have six rooms/areas that are wallpapered in this house, and three of those have the ceilings wallpapered, as well.

Yes, they did wallpaper the ceilings, too, and not only that - they wallpapered right on the drywall, so it does - not - come - off easily, if at all. Whoever put this wallpaper up obviously didn't read their Stanley Home Improvement "How to Wallpaper" book, and did it all wrong. Then again, I am beginning to think that their aim was not to cover the walls in the latest home fashion (with the eventual plan of changing it to a new look later on). Rather, I think that their wall covering efforts were to highlight and enjoy the act of wallpapering itself - wallpapering as a means unto itself, rather than a means to an end.

I spoke to a local painter before we moved in, in an effort to find out how much he would charge to remove this wallpaper, and then paint the walls. He said that in cases like this, he never tries to remove the paper (because it just doesn't come off), and instead he paints over it. Unfortunately, this is a special process, involving words like "special oil primer", and "floating" and "many coats". However, he did say that he could do this for us - for somewhere around $5000.

As a result, I have decided that I am going to open our new home as Fresno's first Wallpaper Museum. I am going to give tours of the intricacies of the fine wallpaper methodology displayed in our home. I think I will charge everyone $5 for this fine tour, and thus make a little money to pay someone what it will cost to get rid of it for me.

As a special treat today, I am including a few shots of what will be available on this tour.

This shot and the next are ceiling shots from the kitchen and dining room. Please note the adhesion of wallpaper to all possible surface areas.

This is Jacob's room. Again, papered from head to toe.

Here is the ceiling in our bedroom. Actually, this to me is the least offensive wallpaper that we have. It's almost trendy.

This is a fine example of wallpaper matching.

Another exquisite example in our bedroom. Be sure and notice how the slats of the air vent were carefully cut and adhered to the metal covering.

This is just a shot of the fine expanse of wallpaper in the computer room. Thankfully, the ceiling of this very high room was not covered. You might have noticed the light fixture in this room and in Jacob's room. If I don't get enough proceeds from the Wallpaper Museum, I'm going to try the Museum of Aniquated Light Fixtures next.

A fine plug covering, although I'm amazed that they didn't cover the middle oval of plastic, too. Who cares about fire safety when you can have 100% coverage?

This is almost like one of those posters with the weird, randon dots all over it - if you stare at it long enough, your eyes start to cross, and you suddenly realize - Oh! It's an airvent!
Thanks for visiting the virual museum today, and come again soon. You can send your online admission/donation to my PayPal account at

Angel  – (25 August 2009 at 15:33)  

Stunning. Someone has a LOT of patience to put all of that paper together so well. You should keep it as a memorial to all patient people.

Sandra  – (26 August 2009 at 10:06)  

You are hysterically funny!

It really could be worse...

DeAnna  – (27 August 2009 at 21:44)  

I can't believe all that wallpaper!! I wonder what it would cost if you hired or maybe you could do it yourself and skim over the wallpaper with drywall mud. Then the painter could paint over the skim. You can get drywall mud at your local home improvement store. It would be a fun project for you while you wait for that sub call! LOL!! Love your blog!

Grace –   – (27 August 2009 at 22:24)  

I agree with your comments on this wallpape. The old owners were out of control with wallpaper here wallpaper there, UH let see how about some wallpaper here. Oh there a spot with no wallpaper. Do we need a wallpaper tear down party???

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