The Three-Hour Bark

This is a picture of the dog next door, furtively snapped while my neighbor was not home. Actually, it wasn't too furtive, since the neighbor is not home much at all. He goes to work early in the morning and returns late at night, if at all. And oh, does Neighbor Dog miss his owner. In fact, as soon as he is put outside bright and early in the morning, he begins to bark his distress. Loudly. Persistently. Lately, for over three hours every morning.

Now, those of you who know me know that I really have developed a love for dogs in the past few years, especially for our dog Mocha. However, those of you who really know me know that I have absolutely no tolerance for any kind of loud, repetitive sounds. I can't take Mocha's barking if it goes more than three or four bark-syllables. In fact, I don't think I have a bark-tolerant bone in my entire body.

So I'm having a little trouble with this. The good news is that when Bad Neighbor Dog does finally get all of his seven thousand and one barks out, it is completely quiet for most of the day. I imagine that this is because he most likely completely passed out, perhaps little white legs straight up in the air, utterly exhaused from such an indecently long stint of barking frenzy.

Bad Neighbor Dog does have another dog back there with him, but he is not a big barker. I am thinking that he is probably stone-deaf, or he would have surely pounced in rage on Bad Neighbor Dog and destroyed him long before I came into the neighborhood.

As I was just out there in the back yard trying to get the guilty little disturber-of-the-peace in the camera view, I was considering my options. Of course, I first go to the ideas with the least possible amount of neighborly conflict, and I have considered these so far:

1) Giving him some food, in case he is hungry. I don't think he is hungry, though. They do seem to be generally provided for.

2) Throwing a large handful of cheese cubes into their yard in a random fashion so that he would have to be quiet long enough find each one. Of course, the problem with this is that Stone-Deaf dog would surely also scramble for the cheese, and then Bad Neighbor Dog might just bark for more.

3) Buying him a big, tasty chew bone that would keep him busy for most of the morning (and one for Stone-Deaf dog, too.)

4) Going out there and rattling the fence violently for an extended period of time, stirring him up into such a frenzy that he exhausts himself in half the time of his regular barking session. (This option also has some additional benefits in terms of relieving some of my frustration, too.)

Unfortunately, none of these will have as long-lasting effects as talking to the neighbor might.

Or leaving an anonymous note on the neighbors door.

Or leaving the link to this post so he can read it for himself...